Attention all babies!

Attention all babies! Hello! William here. You can call me Will if you'd like. Take a few moments to get your parents out of the room, pull up a Boppy, and pay attention to what I'm about to tell you.

Look at me. This is serious.


A very disturbing trend was recently brought to my attention. It occurred on June 24, 2010. Or, as I like to call it, the day that shall live in infamy. I remember it like it was 4 days ago...

But first, a bit of background info as I dramatically lead up to the point of my post.

On June 23, 2010, I turned two months old. Hard to believe I've been living in this house for so long, but time flies when you're having fun. Everyone's really friendly here. My brothers are loud, but they're cool. My parents are nice to me and hold me a lot. I can tell everybody loves me, and I get compliments about my handsome looks and sweet disposition showered upon me daily. Plus, my mom serves the best drinks ever!

At two months old, I really like being outside. I sit on someone's lap, or in my bouncy seat, and at times, I even enjoy an outdoor snooze. I think Mommy has finally learned to walk around with me out there if I'm in one of my occasional grumpy moods.

And now that I'm old enough to engage in conversation (well, in my head, I use real words, but all that comes out is an adorable "Ah-gooo"), I love when people talk to me. My face breaks out into an enormous grin and I chat back (seriously, that "Ah-gooo" is a real winner with the adults- they eat that up). I've been told my smile can light up a room. Not trying to brag- that's just what I've heard.

Long story short- things have been good.

Until...June 24, 2010.

The day started off fairly typically. Well, Mommy took a shower, and that certainly doesn't always happen. Nan came by, and I overheard talk of an "appointment". I intended to continue eavesdropping, but got distracted by some bright colors on my mobile. They're so colorful and beautiful and rattly, and wait- I'm getting distracted again.
Before I knew it, Mommy was buckling me in my car seat, and loading me into the car. How neat, I thought. A road trip with just the two of us. I'll skip the parts of the story that include Mommy laughing at inappropriate jokes on a morning radio show, and then singing along to Coldplay.

Once we arrived at our destination, it didn't take me long to realize we were at the pediatrician. I found myself being laid on the familiar table as Mommy undressed me. I was weighed, measured, examined, poked, and prodded. Some of it was mildly annoying, but I didn't put up much of a fight since the Dr. is kind. And mainly because he described me as "perfect".

I heard him tell Mommy that I weigh 13 lbs, 11 oz. For you statisticians out there, my weight is in the 75th percentile. Told you I've been enjoying my mommy's drinks. I'm festively and adorably plump!


And my height of 24 inches (for you babies who are no good at math, that's 2 feet tall) is in the 95th percentile.

Apparently my head circumference is in the 75th percentile. It looks like an average size head to me, but hey- I'm no doctor. Even so, I am pretty sure that means I'm a future genius. Big head equals big brain, right?

But I digress.

Now for the moment you've been waiting for.

It has been my experience at these appointments to leave after the Dr. finishes looking me over and declaring me wonderful and perfect. But this time was different.
Who was that lady walking in the door? And what were those vials she started messing around with?

Mommy laid me back on the table. Just as I was about to ask what was going on ("Ah-goo?"), there was pain in my left leg. I wailed. And I wailed loud just to let that lady know I did not appreciate whatever she was doing down there. I wanted to scream at her, "Just you wait, lady. My mommy will put a stop to this immediately!"

But wait...why wasn't Mommy stopping her? All Mommy was doing was trying to console me. What was happening? I screamed louder, and screamed so much, I felt my face turn an interesting shade of burgundy.

And finally, 3 pokes later, it was over. And I was in Mommy's arms again. Mommy whispered her apologies and sounded sincere. And even though her face wasn't maroon like mine had been, she still looked upset.

A two month old with band-aids is a pitiful sight.


Even if they're Snoopy band-aids.


I've forgiven Mommy, but haven't forgotten. After the appointment, I was still a bit perturbed.


"Mommy, you won't ever spring those shots on me again, will you? You'll warn me next time, right? Look at me, Mommy. OK, I believe you. So I'm holding you to it."


I spent the afternoon napping




and occasionally reliving the horror of the pain in my mind.


But after some much needed rest and recovery, I was OK.


I even mustered up a few post-shot smiles for Mommy. She looked like she could use them.


I felt compelled to warn you babies out there that sometimes the Dr. gives you shots. And it seems to begin when you're 2 months old. I was fine by the next day because, after all, I'm a strong, tall, handsome, big brained baby.



Did I mention handsome? It's good to be me.

Five

Jacob turned FIVE yesterday. Five!

Considering he waltzed into our bedroom just before 6:30 a.m., saying, "It's my birthday!", I think we might have built up the birthday excitement just a tad too much.

Every time we talked about his upcoming birthday, he'd ask, "And I'm going to be so much bigger?" I didn't realize until he asked yesterday, "Do I look bigger?", that he thought a growth spurt would happen spontaneously during the night before his 5th birthday. (Like he needs a growth spurt.) But of course I told him, "Yes! You look so big and grown up!"

Since I knew I wouldn't have time during the morning, I baked blueberry muffins for a surprise birthday breakfast the night before. When I pulled our favorite box of muffins from the pantry, I noticed it read, 'NEW! WHOLE GRAIN!"

Whole grain? We don't buy healthy muffins in this house. And then I remembered when I purchased these, they'd been out of our usual fattening (i.e. delicious) Duncan Hines Blueberry Streusel muffins. Oh well, I thought. No biggie. Surely even though I bought healthy muffins, they'll still be just as delicious.

Since he wasn't aware the muffins were whole grain, Jacob was excited about his birthday breakfast. In our house, candles aren't just for birthday cakes. It's become tradition to stick them in pretty much any food item on one's birthday. A birthday muffin was perfect.


And a birthday breakfast with your little brothers is even more perfect.


But it's no birthday breakfast without the Happy Birthday song. As you'd expect, Alex and I sung in perfect harmony.


And Jacob loved every minute of it.


"Thanks for singin', Alex."


Time to blow out the candle...with a little sneaky help.


And then it was time to celebrate Alex's birthday that's two months and two days away!



Happy Birthday, Jacob! Time to enjoy your muffin.


While chewing his first bite of muffin, he looked at me and said, "These taste like corn muffins." I think his expression says it all.


My feelings couldn't even be hurt when he only ate half of his muffin because that's all I was able to choke down too. Even with gobs of Country Crock butter. Whole grain muffins will never be purchased again. Lesson learned.

After breakfast, there were phone calls from grandparents (complete with a birthday serenade).


And then it was time for Jacob's swim lessons. When those were finished, the boys played in the pool for a little while before we headed home for lunch. And to get ready for the fun part of our afternoon.
Since Jacob chose Toy Story as his birthday party theme, I thought it would be fun if we saw "Toy Story 3" in the theater on his birthday. We saw a movie last year, but this time, all of us went. Yep- including Will. Nan & Pop even wanted to tag along.


In the days leading up to our movie date, Jacob was telling people the plan to see "Buzz Lightyear 3", and Alex would chime in with, "And I get popcorn!" The popcorn window was like a beacon to them. They were drawn to it immediately.


On our way into the theater. Will had no idea where he was being carried.


My little moviegoers.


Is it a little ridiculous that I brought a camera inside the theater? Yep. I know it is. And apparently, according to Jeff, it was also annoying to the people two rows behind us. In my defense, with the exception of one picture, all of my shots were before the movie started. Trying to take super fast pictures in the dark explains the quality of some of these pictures.

My popcorn fiends.



This little guy was an angel during the movie. He sat quietly for a while, nursed, cooed & smiled at me, left the theater for a diaper change, and then fell asleep on Nan's lap. (And how adorable is it that he's holding her finger?) He did wonderfully on his first trip to the movies.




And this big guy sat still for the duration of the movie (which is saying a lot for Alex!). About halfway through the movie, Jacob moved from beside me to beside Jeff. So Alex moved from beside Jeff to the seat next to mine. Musical chairs, but it was cute. He leaned over and kissed my arm. Then I gave him a hug. He looked up at me, sniffed the air, and asked, "Are you eatin' peppermint patties?"
Junior Mints, actually. Man, that kid has a nose for chocolate. I think he loved me even more when I shared my candy with him.



And the birthday boy? Chowed down on popcorn, guzzled Sprite, stared at the screen, and snuggled with his daddy.




And I'm pretty sure he had a blast.


After the movie, there were fun arcade games to play. Or, pretend you're playing.




As we walked out of the movie theater, the boys immediately ran over to the fountain outside the mall. I gave them each a penny to toss in. After he threw his in, Jacob asked, "Will my wish come true?" This morning I found out what he wished for:
"I wished I was a rainbow."
This kid has a thing for rainbows.
Me: "Why do you want to be a rainbow?"
Jacob: "Because they're so pretty."

And while Jeff grilled steaks for dinner (one of Jacob's favorite meals), the boys played with new Toy Story racing cars that were gifts to Jacob from his brothers. Luckily, Will and Alex had the foresight to buy two cars so they could be shared. And Jacob ooh'd and ahh'd and even thanked us for the new underwear and Toy Story muscle shirt we gave him.



Jacob thanked me for taking him to the movies and told us he had a good birthday. It seems we also wore him out, considering he fell asleep promptly and slept in a little late this morning.


I can't believe he's 5 years old. As I watched him play yesterday, I could easily picture when it was just the 2 of us at home during the day. When he was a newborn sprawled sound asleep on my chest...a baby gazing and smiling at me...a drooling baby crawling and laughing as I chased him around our old house...a toddler running to me with his arms outstretched...and now, my big 5-year old boy who will start kindergarten in two short months. It's all going by too fast.


Happy 5th Birthday to a wonderful son and big(gest) brother who is a perfectly adorable combination of funny, smart, sensitive, silly, sweet, thoughtful, crazy, active, loving, affectionate, and handsome. I love you so, so much.

An Uncanny Resemblance

Unless you're living under a rock or don't own a television, then surely you've seen previews for "Toy Story 3". Or at least you've heard of it. Jacob loves the previews for the movie, laughing in all of the same places, and grinning at me when it's over.

Today, Jacob walked up to me in an outfit of his own choosing (and sporting his own decision to not button his shirt), and said,

"I look like Ken."


Ken (of Barbie & Ken, of course) is one of the new characters in the movie.


And after Jacob saw this picture of Ken, he decided he needed to alter his pose to more closely match Ken's. Notice the placement of his hands on his hips and the ridiculously wide eyes.


OK. Obviously Jacob is much more handsome, lacks an ascot knotted oh so stylishly around his neck, and his eyes aren't as deranged as Ken's...but I can see the resemblance.

Things that make you go 'hmmm'...

Jacob: "Milk comes from cows and eggs come from chickens."

Me: "That's right."

Not wanting to be outdone, Alex pipes up with: "And bacon comes from pancakes!"

You can understand the logic since we serve them together. And it's better than Jacob's previous belief that milk came from a cow's penis.

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The boys have these cheap plastic beaded necklaces they play with. Jeff likes to joke that they were given to me on Mardi Gras, but that is not where they came from. I think they were birthday party favors. Anyway, the boys wear them on occasion as accessories to creative superhero costumes, but more often, they enjoy tangling the 3 necklaces together and whipping them around like a lasso. That's what boys do with necklaces.

The other day, Alex put the lovely orange beads around my neck. Then Jacob looked at me and said proudly,
"Mom, you look like a woman when you wear those!"

I'm still trying to decide if I want to know what I look like when I'm not wearing plastic beads.