Another Edition of Jacob Quotes

And now, folks, it's time for another installment of...
"Quotes from the Adorable, Funny, and Sometimes Too Smart for His Own Good...Jacob!"

Jacob's way of telling you he is really enjoying something, be it an activity, a TV show, something he's eating, or really anything that can be loved, is, "I LOVE dat!"
Jacob's way of telling you he is NOT enjoying any of the above examples: "I don't love dat."
The other day, I was performing the classic, never fail Mom trick of wiping Jacob's face clean with my spit. Yes. I'm that Mom. In my defense, we were about to walk into his preschool, I had nothing else to use, and he had dried Pop-Tart crumbs all over his mouth. So, as I'm rubbing this top-notch cleaning solution beside his mouth and around his chin, he has an almost disgusted look on his face. Probably thinking, "Geez, Mom, do you have to do this in front of all of the other preschool kids?" But, what he said aloud, in a very matter-of-fact tone, was, "Mommy...I don't love your spit."


A couple of weeks ago, during a family outing to buy groceries, Jacob decided he'd drink his juice cup...without using his hands! He & Alex both do it, and both find it amusing. They stick the spout in their mouths, and look around from side to side, as if to say, "Hey, check THIS out! No hands!" Often, this trick does not have a happy ending. At best, it falls out of their mouths and splashes a few small droplets of whatever liquid is in the cup. Sometimes, however, the cup falls in slow motion, lands at the perfect angle to knock the lid off, and spills every single ounce of beverage remaining in the cup.
So, when I saw him standing in the store aisle performing the "No Hands" trick, I told him, "Jacob, please hold your cup with your hands or you'll spill." Sometimes it's a blessing and a curse being right all of the time. :) Naturally, it spilled. And, of course, since it was a full cup of apple juice, the worst case scenario spillage occurred. Jeff went off to look for paper towels while the boys & I stood guard by the apple juice flood. When I saw a store employee, I pointed out our mess, explained what happened, and apologized. He was nice enough, but Jacob wasn't a fan of his. Maybe Jacob was bitter over spilling his juice, or that he was "forced" to sit in the fun car attached to the front of the cart (mean Mommy), but he had some words for Mr. Store Employee. Mr. Employee was saying things like "kids will be kids" as he plopped down a Wet Floor sign. Then, he asked Jacob, "Did you spill your drink?"
Jacob nodded.
He mumbled something about it being a big mess, and I thanked him profusely for his help. I apologized again, and he said it was OK. Then he said, "That's alright, little guy." And, he started walking away.
Thankfully, by the time Jacob climbed out of the car, and put his hands on his hips, he was too far away to hear the following comeback:
"Hey, I not a little guy! I a big boy! YOU a little guy!"
Aaaaand, back in the shopping cart we go.
I love grocery shopping.


The other day, Jacob asked for a cup of milk. So, I obliged, poured him a full cup, and handed it over. He took a couple of gulps, and with much gusto, exclaimed, "Mmmm!! Dis milk is so good!" Then, he hugged my legs, and said, "Mommy, you're the best milk maker EVER!"
I never got this compliment from him during breastfeeding, so I'll take it now. Better late than never!


Last night, Jacob & I were talking about Christmas.
Me: "It's almost Christmas, Jacob! Have you been a good boy?"
Jacob: "Yes!"
Me: "You have been a good boy. So, is Santa going to bring you presents?"
Jacob: "A popcorn machine!"
Me: "I can't wait for Christmas. And I can't wait to see what presents you and Alex get from Santa."
Jacob: "Jesus get presents too?"
Me: "Oh, because Christmas is Jesus's birthday?"
Jacob: "Yes."
Me: "Maybe we can sing Happy Birthday to Jesus."
(he & I both sing a beautiful, perfectly harmonized version of "Happy Birthday to Jesus")
Me: "Know who has the next birthday? Lainey! We're going to her birthday party in 3 days!"
Jacob: after a moment of deep thought, he looks up and asks excitedly, "Will Jesus be at Lainey's party too?"


Ever since we moved to the apartment while we waited for our new house to be built, Jacob has been coming to our bed in the middle of the night. Literally, every single night, and literally, since the very first night in the apartment. First, I chalked it up to new surroundings in the apartment. And, when we moved to the new house, I used the same reasoning. But, now, I'm pretty sure it's just habit. Jeff & I have both been lazy about putting a stop to it. Honestly, just because neither of us mind having him in our bed for a few hours every night. He snuggles. He kisses us and whispers, "Good morning." If we aren't ready to get up, he'll continue to calmly lie in bed with us. Granted, sometimes, he's a wild sleeper, and one or both of us get punched or kicked in the face. And, the other night around 3 a.m., he woke Jeff up to ask, "Why are your eyes closed?"
But, you've got to take the bad with the good.
We figured we should nip this in the bud at some point, though. So, Jeff was trying to warm Jacob up to the idea.
Jeff: "Soon, you'll sleep in your own big boy bed all night! Daddy will still lay down with you, but you'll stay asleep, and not get up until 7:30!"
Jacob: "But, then I won't be in your bed."
Jeff: "I know. You'll be in your own bed like a big boy!"
Jacob: "But when I wake up, and you aren't dere, I get up and follow you."
Jeff: "I know you do. But, big boys sleep by themselves in their own beds."
Jacob: (ponders this for a moment) "No, they don't. YOU sleep in bed with Mommy!"
Hard to argue with logic! :)


Jacob was eating a hot dog for dinner, and a few minutes after he finished, he asked, "Where'd my hot dog go?"
Me: "You ate it all, bud. It's in your belly."
Jacob: "Maybe dat hot dog went to his home to be with his family." And, smiling, he added, "Maybe dere's another hot dog dere waitin' for him!"
A hot dog family in his belly. You can't make this stuff up. :)

Stay tuned for future editions of Cute Jacob Quotes.