Jacob's Thoughts

I remember when Jacob was a baby, an expression on his face would make me wonder what he could possibly be thinking about. Sometimes he would stare into space, or into my eyes, looking like he was analyzing his feelings or pondering life's deepest questions.







I used to wish I could get in his head and read his mind.

Well, I don't have to wonder anymore. I'm pretty sure he says aloud everything he thinks. So far, nothing too mortifying has been said in public, other than the time at Target, we saw people with bandannas on their heads, and he asked loudly if they were pirates. Or the time at a drive-thru, when he asked me while the window was down if the cashier had a baby in her belly. And no, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a baby. A food baby, maybe.

I'm glad I no longer have to be curious about what he's thinking. And in spite of the occasional moment I might prefer he keep his thoughts to himself, I'm enjoying hearing what's going on in that head of his. Here are a few recent examples of Jacob's thoughts and reasoning.


Sometimes, Jacob acts as a teacher, and takes it upon himself to explain to me & Jeff how things are made. For example, he'll ask, "Know how plants grow?" or "Know how to make ice cream?" Sometimes he's very accurate. But he's bound to make a mistake every now and then.
Like the time he asked us, "Know where milk comes from?"
Me & Jeff: "Where?"
Jacob: "From a cow's penis."

No one can be right all the time.

As we were eating chicken wings for dinner the other night, Jacob was carefully examining the bones. He was fascinated, and at the same time, being very cautious not to eat them. He warned us to do the same.
Jacob: "Know how dis chicken is made?"
Me: "How?"
Jacob: "They get bones from people and put dem in the chicken."

And then, after another careful examination, and a moment of deep thought, he adds, "Wait...dat's not right."
He'll have to think this one through and get back to us.



Jeff and I want to raise confident kids. And so far, I think we're on the right track. When I don't tell him first, Jacob will sometimes say things like, "I did a great job with that", or, "I have good manners." And I'm always quick to agree with him.
A couple of days ago, he was performing a magic show for me with his yo-yo. After my applause and praising of his yo-yo tricks (which consisted of holding the yo-yo by its string and swinging it back & forth), he tells me:
"I'm great at things. Like...doin' magic tricks, playin' with Optimus Prime, stopping tornadoes, and fightin' bad guys."

And how does he fight bad guys? He shared his plan with me & Jeff last night. If he ever encounters a real one, this is what the unlucky bad guy has in store for him:
"If I see a bad guy, I will make them smell my feet, and they will think they are so stinky. And then I will pee on them!"

And if he's wearing his Protector of the House uniform at the time he must conquer a bad guy, well, then they'd just better run away immediately.




I remember driving with the boys last summer, and a bird dropped a little surprise on the windshield. When Jacob saw the white bird poop, he explained that it must have come from a white bird.
So, if white birds make white poop, then it stands to reason that:
"When you eat brown things, you poop."

I think that one might be my favorite.


I wonder if he comes up with these ideas on the spot, or if he thinks them through in advance. Maybe they come to him in dreams?



Sometimes he has plenty of opportunity to think while on the potty.



I just love the way this kid thinks.