3-0

This morning around 7:30, I walked into Alex's room to find him standing in his crib, grinning happily. He almost always wakes up in a good mood, chattering and singing to himself. I was marveling at his beautiful smile and big, gorgeous blue eyes as his little arms reached out for me. And that's when I noticed a bit of poop on his fingers. And crib sheet. The same crib sheet I just replaced yesterday after finding poopy smears on it.
A fun way to begin the day.

Alex: 1
Mommy: 0

A little while ago, Jacob approached me in the kitchen and asked, "Mommy? What did you give Alex?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Jacob: "What's he eatin'?"
I had given him a small bowl of dry Cheerios to snack on, so I wasn't too alarmed until I walked in the family room and found no trace of Alex cramming cereal into his mouth.

Hmm...if he's hiding, that can't be good.

As I quickly rounded the corner to check the dining room, I found him standing in the foyer, clearly chewing.
Me: "Alex? What's in your mouth? Open your mouth and show Mommy." And I began trying to pry open his mouth, which apparently had been welded closed.

And then he swallowed.

One of my biggest fears is choking. I calmed down when I realized he was breathing normally and perfectly fine. He smiled and then cooperatively opened his mouth. I saw no traces of anything left behind.
So I smelled his breath.
Interesting. Smelled a whole heck of a lot like the Trident Watermelon Twist gum Jacob had just chewed and spit out into the trash can.
Guess I got my money's worth out of that piece.

Alex: 2
Mommy: 0

Not 10 minutes later, I noticed Alex peering into the trash can again, no doubt looking for more edible goods. (I promise I feed this child.) Do they make trash alarms? I need something as obnoxious as they come, with a loud, blaring siren and flashing lights. Alex is way too stealthy for me to compete with.
I hurried over to the trash can, but quickly discovered I was too late. He had already discovered the coffee grounds that I so "cleverly" hid under 2 paper plates when disposing of them. Why do I think I can outwit him? Grounds were all over his hand, onesie, and the floor.

"My, these coffee grounds are quite difficult to clean. Is this why I shouldn't play in them? Guess you'll have to add this to the laundry pile, Mother."


"I picked up the delicious looking, chewed up piece of gum from the trash can and put it right here."



It's only 9:30 a.m., and I'm already losing three to zip.