Pre-kids, if someone had predicted that one day I would leave my house wearing what I slept in the night before, have no makeup on, and would often realize while out that I hadn't brushed my hair (or sometimes, my teeth), I'd have scoffed and deemed it a gross exaggeration. When really, it's just gross.
But honestly? I kind of stopped caring how I look a long time ago. And something else I realized just yesterday? I feel like having kids justifies my appearance. Yesterday morning, I made a quick run to Target. No shower, no makeup, stretch pants and a t-shirt with a certain baby boy's milky saliva marks along my left shoulder. Since almost none of my outings are made alone, I feel like if people notice my disheveled, could-not-care-less-about-my-outfit state, when they see the boys in tow, they'll think, "Oh, she's a busy mom! She didn't have the time to make herself look nice." But when I'm by myself? Yikes. In Target yesterday, I was feeling so self-conscious without my little "wardrobe excuses" with me. I realize that it's completely ridiculous because there are plenty of moms who manage to care for their kids and make time for themselves. Or at least make time for a shower & clean clothes.
I know it's my fault. It's because of my lack of caring, and the fact that I care way more about how the boys are dressed. And somewhere along the line (maybe when I was pregnant with Jacob), it became way more fun to buy clothes for little boys!
These days, 5 weeks post-baby, too big for my regular clothes, and too small for maternity clothes, you can bet I'm not making any fashion statements. This weekend, I finally decided I needed to invest in at least one pair of shorts that fit. Not even for the sake of vanity- but mainly because I'm just tired of sweating outside in one of the 2 pairs of stretch pants that fit me. So during the aforementioned trip to Target, I broke down and bought a pair of shorts. Not maternity shorts. But regular shorts that are 3 sizes bigger than what I usually wear. I even splurged and bought a top to match.
And now to the point of this rambling post...I never thought my clothes were something the boys noticed. But I suppose sometimes I forget how old Jacob is- and how observant.
After getting dressed in my new outfit, Jacob looked at me and said,
"Mommy, I like your outfit. I didn't even recognize you because you look nice and have style."
At the time, I laughed. And I still find it funny today, but I'm also thinking that maybe I should take a hint. Certainly my appearance should not be (and isn't) at the top of my list of priorities, but perhaps it should at least be on the list. Even if it's down at the bottom. I don't want the boys to wonder why their friends' mothers "have style" while their mommy is still sporting Daddy's old Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt.
I'll give myself a pass until I can finish losing baby weight and fit into my normal clothes because after all, I can't afford a wardrobe shopping spree. It will be my New Year's resolution...just 5 months late.
It's inevitable that I'll embarrass the boys one day (and probably many times) with something I do or say, but I'd rather not embarrass them with my appearance. And anyway, I'm sure I'll think of other more fun ways to embarrass my kids.
1 comment:
I have to admit: I started out the first month or two as a SAHM by showering & putting makeup on & getting dressed every morning. Then gradually, I stopped putting makeup on. And then "getting dressed" started to mean gym shorts & a tank top. Thankfully, I do still shower every day (well, most days). But, I had an epiphany at Target too! I saw this mom pushing her infant daughter around and she had perfectly styled hair, a cute outfit on, her makeup was done, & she was even wearing heels. And I realized that LOTS of moms are capable of having babies AND looking halfway decent, even cute. Who knew?! Of course, I still blame my appearance some days on Camden's night-waking. And you can blame yours on having 3 kids under 4.
You did "have style" yesterday! ;)
Post a Comment