Realizations of a Thumb Sucker

Okay, I know I'm new here and all, so I don't know how this whole "parenting" gig works. But I have a couple of minor concerns I'd like to address.

I recently questioned two parenting decisions my mom and dad made. I mean, aren't there books available that explain parenting? Some kind of guides they can reference to avoid future questionable decisions?

Daddy gets most of the blame because this was his idea. But Mommy's not off the hook since she went along with it. And took pictures!

I'll go ahead and state for the record that I know I'm cute. Beyond cute, really. Even I can't get enough of my blue eyes, chubby cheeks, red hair, and smile. Oh, my smile...it melts hearts, that's for sure. Seriously, I've seen strangers checking me out.
(I've attached photographic evidence to support my claim.)


But even so, that does not mean I am to be passed around like a baby doll to small children.

I present to you, Concern #1. A 5-year old holding me without assistance!


Does this seem like a good idea to you? I mean, I'm only a couple months old, so why am I the only one who looks concerned?


Days later, after I finally recovered from the shock of this incident, I found myself being handed over to a THREE year old! Excuse me, I mean an almost three year old! Even better!


"Seriously, Mommy? You're going to take a picture? How about you let someone who's been walking independently for longer than 2 years hold me?"


Yea, sure, there's Daddy's hand and hairy arm nearby to provide assistance if necessary, but still...

Eek. It makes me nervous just thinking about it.


In my spare time, I've been giving these incidents some thought. Reliving the moments in my mind, analyzing my parents' reasoning, and giving my feelings about my home and my family serious consideration.
I think best while I suck my thumb (who doesn't?). I find my thumb to be very, very soothing.


And here's what me and my thumb came up with:

I get tons of attention, lots of smiles, hugs, cuddles, and kisses from my family.

I never have to wear a poopy diaper longer than a few minutes.

There's never a line at the boobie bar. It's all MINE.

I'm constantly paid compliments. This does wonders for my ego.

I can tell everyone is happy that I joined the family.

My parents love me, and would never put me in harm's way.

And I suppose my brothers are strong.

I mean, if my Biggest Brother can do this:

then he should be able to hold me with no problem.

And since my Big Brother is a part-time superhero with big muscles, then I suppose he's strong enough to hold me too.


And I know my brothers love me a lot because they tell me all the time. So they're extra careful with me.


Alright, I suppose I may have overreacted. I'm only 2-1/2 months old, after all. I'm still learning how to reason and get a handle on my emotions. Thanks to my thumb and my thoughts, I feel much more confident in my parents now.

I guess Mommy and Daddy do know best.