Nudist Colony

I've always wondered about the people who go to nudist colonies. Who wants to be naked all the time? I mean, really? Is clothing that uncomfortable? I'm not knocking nudity, but for me, there's a time and a place for it.
I've found that lately, there are two little boys who seem to adamantly disagree with me. My first clue was the picket line they formed as they marched around the house, naked (obviously), carrying signs that read, "There's Never a Bad Time to be Naked!" and "Save Money- Don't Buy Clothes!" Oh, my sweet little activists.
If they could drive, I'm sure I'd find these stickers on their bumpers*:





So in spite of my feelings on matters related to nudism, our house has become somewhat like a nudist colony.

OK, so the boys aren't always naked. And sometimes naked isn't really naked- it just means wearing underwear or diapers only. They always start the day in clothes. But as the day progresses, Jacob's clothes can frequently be found strewn on the dining room floor as he lounges, plays, or runs in his skivvies. Seriously, all year, Jeff and I have been waiting for an awkward phone call from his preschool teacher: "Um, hello, Jacob's mommy. I'm calling to tell you about an incident at school today. We noticed Jacob was missing for a few moments, when suddenly, he popped out from behind the bookshelf, completely undressed. He then began running around the room. The other little boys found it hilarious, but the little girls screamed, cried, and covered their eyes...we wondered if you would help us address this."

Thankfully, so far, disrobing has only occurred inside our home, or in the houses of family members.

Whenever Jacob is undressed, Alex naturally must follow suit. He'll approach me, tugging on that oh so restricting clothing that I guess all nudists complain about, saying, "Nay...nay...nay" (which means "naked" in Alex language). Since Alex has the dirty little habit of putting his hand in his diaper, naked for Alex meant he could run around wearing only a onesie. And that used to please him just fine.

Until.

Until, the President of the Nudist Colony took matters into his own hands. Jacob pulled Alex aside in the dining room one day and whispered in his ear, "Would you like to team up? We nudists must stick together." After Alex nodded yes, Jacob taught him the secret handshake, then took it upon himself to take the onesie off. And once Alex was only wearing a diaper, it was only seconds before that came off too.

This is what is going on in our house on pretty much any given day.

"Nay."



"It's so fun being 'nay'! Look how happy it makes us!"



And while I'm preoccupied, Alex sneaks off in his typical ninja fashion, and escapes to another room. Why? To become completely 'nay'.

"Oh, hello, Mother. Keep making eye contact with me so you don't notice my left hand."


"Nothing- my left hand is doing nothing. Yes, of course my diaper is still taped. You must be seeing things. Hmm, this isn't working. It seems I've underestimated my mommy's intelligence and observational skills. I'm just going to make a break for it and strip off this diaper while on the run."


And before I know it, Naked Laps have begun.**


Notice the discarded diaper.


Naked Laps come to an end when 1 of these 4 things happen:
1) Two little boys wear themselves out.
2) Mommy decides it's time to get dressed.
3) Someone comes to the door.
4) Alex pees.

On the day these particular laps took place, it was #4. When Jeff got home from work that evening, I said, "Alex, where did you pee pee today? Show daddy." Expecting to be led to the bathroom to watch a proud finger point to the toilet, imagine Jeff's surprise when Alex instead pointed to the foyer floor, just above where the diaper had been laying.
Maybe he was aiming for the diaper.

If Naked Running becomes a competitive sport one day, then I bet my boys will kick some butt. Literally.

If it doesn't, then I guess I'll be seeing them during their visits from the nudist colony.



*from cafepress.com
**little behinds have been blurred