I admit that it's exhausting. And during my laps with Will around the house, as my arm is screaming in pain, my lower back is hurting, my knees want to buckle, and I'm completely worn out, I often sing lyrics to a made up song about how easy it is to just fall asleep. During my pacing, I've imagined that one day my left arm will sport a ridiculously large, cartoonish muscle from holding my chunky monkey.
But, in spite of all of that, I'm glad I can make him happy. And calm him down when he's upset. And hold him just the right way so he falls into a deep sleep on my arm.
I must be doing something right because he sure does seem to appreciate the sight of me. It's wonderful to watch his eyes light up as he smiles when he sees me. I can't get enough of it.
Hi, William. It's Mommy!
Uh-oh...where'd Mommy go? She was just here!
Here I am!
She's gone again! I need her now! It's time for us to walk around the house!
Now you don't see me...
and now you do.
Is that mean? I promise I didn't abandon him. Actually, most of the time, I simply had the camera blocking my face. Or, I was only a few feet away, watching him play, just out of his line of vision. And just for a minute.
But he still missed me. Even though he's giving one of my arms the workout of its life, it's wonderful to be so needed and loved.
And one day when they're grown, I hope all of my boys know that I love them even more than they love me. Always have and always will...when I see them and when I don't.
4 comments:
I love watching the way Will gazes at you. It's so sweet. Isn't it just the best to know you're the absolute center of someone's world?
You really, really need to make your blog more available. However, that is done. It is so entertaining. I loved the way Will let me hold him for so long yesterday. It was a new record. Timing is everything.
Ok, the drama and just love how Will is able to express himself so descriptively! You might think I mean your words, but I really meant his expressions!!!!! First I laughed and then I cried. Love the little pout again--he's mastered that completely. You said so well what many mothers want, almost universally, that their children know how completely they are loved with us or away from us! Always, their whole lives!
My son, Tarek, is now living in La Jolla, CA, almost 3K miles away from NOVA, but I continually treasure his calls and emails and always look forward to his hugs when he and I are able to physically connect. You are laying the foundation for a life-long love affair with your boys, Lauren, and that truly is something special. They are lucky, too, though, as FAR too many people don't get that special start in life. Keep up your good "work" with them, and treasure every moment. They, like Tarek, will grow up way too soon!
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