Crafts

Jacob loves preschool. I remember how nerve-racking and upsetting it was for me when I dropped him off on that first day. It took longer for me to adjust to preschool life than it did him (is that normal?), but it certainly helped seeing how much he enjoyed it.
And now, here we are in May with the end of the school year quickly approaching. I don't know what we're going to do with our Tuesday & Thursday mornings when that happens. I know he'll miss it. He loves his teachers (so do I), his friends, the toys, their activities, and recess.
And yea, I'm happy he loves all of that. But you know what I love about preschool?

The crafts.

I'm like a little kid tearing through a gift bag on Christmas morning when I start digging through his book bag looking for new crafts before we've even left the parking lot. I've kept about 95% of the crafts he has made this year. I thought I'd show off pictures of a few of my favorites.
But I'm saving the one he made special for me as a Mother's Day gift for last. Just so everyone reading can be on the edge of their seats.

The groundhog seeing his shadow, of course.


These next two are currently being displayed on our fridge.


Yes, those are real sunflower seeds. There are no shortcuts taken with these preschool crafts.


Not quite the same as having the live turtle he wanted to bring home from the aquarium, but close enough.



I loved this craft he made at Christmastime of Jesus in his manger.


A never before seen photograph of Baby Jesus.


And a somewhat disgruntled looking angel.


How did this picture of Jacob get in here? Oh, wait...that's not Jacob. That's his body double. I always make that mistake.




I think his head is my favorite part, with his blue eyes, blonde hair, smiling mouth, and pink brain matter existing outside of his skull. In the future, all of our brains will be able to function this way. All it will need is just a little corner of our heads to hang on to, and our brains will be set.


I'm glad this one's labeled.


Drum roll, please. This is what I found in his book bag today. My Mother's Day gift and card.
"This is the hand you used to hold when I was only 3 years old."
Naturally, I was teary-eyed.


The front of my homemade Mother's Day card.

Jacob has explained to me that all four of us are depicted on this card.
I am the very tall, leggy one with outstretched arms in the center of the card.
Jacob is the floating body to the left.
Alex is the oval shape just to the left of my long right arm.
And Jeff is the mosquito-like entity on the right side of the card.

This is the first picture Jacob has drawn of me. And I just love it.

On the inside, there's a sweet poem.



The other little treasure on the inside are his answers to a set of questions his teachers asked him about me.

What Mom prepares to eat that I like best...
Eggs.
(He does love my scrambled eggs. I make them extra fancy with cheese.)

I like for Mom to take me to...
Church.
(We really need to start going regularly. Maybe this is his subtle way of telling me that he thinks so too.)

Mom taught me how to...
Get more muscles.
(By drinking healthy drinks and eating the food I make for him, of course! I'll save the weightlifting for Daddy.)

When I grow up, I want to be...
A daddy.

My favorite song that Mom sings to me...
Over My Head. (by The Fray)

You are the best at playing Transformers, Mom!
(I might be good at playing them, but I'm just awful at transforming them. I can't count the number of times I've heard Jacob say, "Daddy can fix all of the Transformers because he can fix everything. Mommy can only fix one.")


I always wondered if parents were being honest when they'd say "homemade gifts are the best".

They were.

Mothers

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us, when adversity takes the place of prosperity, when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
--Washington Irving

Jeff and I are both fortunate to have been blessed with wonderful mothers, who are there for us whenever we need them as moms or grandmothers. We both know how lucky we are, and hopefully they know how much we love and appreciate them.








And both have been amazing as Nan and Grandmom since Day 1.
Literally.

June 22, 2005



August 24, 2007



We love you, Mom and Mom #2. And we hope you know every day, and not just on Mother's Day, how special you are to us.


If I'm being honest, my own Mother's Day got off to a bit of a shaky start. I had hoped to be granted the opportunity to sleep in, but the Alex alarm clock went off at its typical time. At 7 a.m., I heard him calling from his room, "Ma! Ma!" I waited to see if Jeff would pop out of bed, and tell me reassuringly, "Don't worry, honey. You go right back to sleep. I'll take care of this." But when I looked over at him sleeping peacefully, I could almost hear the *Poof!* as my daydream disappeared. As I sluggishly pulled my sweats on, I'm pretty certain I saw him open his eyes, look at the clock, and fall right back to sleep.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

Thankfully, things only went uphill from there, and Jeff redeemed himself in a big way. A little over an hour later, he and Jacob drove to Cracker Barrel and picked up a pancake breakfast for me. And some food for them too.
He watched the boys while I ran some errands, did a little shopping, and visited my sister. And later, we had some great family time at the playground.
I received two very sweet cards from Jeff and the boys. Jacob even signed his name in their card. And so did Alex- with a little help from his daddy.




A few days ago, I was talking to a friend about plans for Mother's Day. When I told him I didn't really have any, he said, "Well, you can spend the day soaking in the kids."

I said, "I get to soak in my kids all day, every day."

I know I'm lucky.

And even during the moments the boys are driving me crazy (it happens every now and then),
or the times I look at the clock and count down to bedtime (or Miller Lite hour),
or when asking two boys who are bouncing off the walls to please calm down a little bit, and get this in response from Jacob:

"Boys don't sit down and rest. We are WILD!" (which actually, I found rather hilarious)

I still know how blessed I am. And I can't imagine having it any other way.

I hope my boys always, always know how much their mommy adores them, loves them, loves being with them, loves having sons, loves their smiles, their hugs, their kisses, their personalities, their senses of humor, their voices, how happy they make her, and how sometimes, she finds herself just gazing at them, wondering how in the heck she got so lucky.

I love you so much, Jacob and Alex. Since Day 1 and always.

June 2005



August 2007



May 2009


"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."
-- Lin Yutang

Goodbye, Papa

Explaining death to a 4-year old can be a little bit tough.

Earlier this week, my dad's father, who we have always called Papa, was referred to Hospice services. Because of my background as a social worker for older adults, I knew that such a referral could still mean he had up to six months to live. So at first, I wasn't overly worried or upset. He was always such a tough man, and has overcome so many illnesses and setbacks, that surely it would happen again this time.
Surely.
He was admitted to the hospital later, given morphine, spending his days and nights sedated and unaware of people's presence in his room. The doctor told my family that he guessed Papa had approximately 2-5 days to live. Yesterday morning, he said 24-48 hours.

This morning, my mom called and said, "He's gone." She was in the room with him while he passed away and told me he went very peacefully. His eyes and mouth closed, and his labored breathing, loud with the sound of fluid in his lungs, simply stopped.
She said it looked like he had a small smile on his lips.

I have been somewhat of an emotional mess. I can't seem to help but cry at the thought or mention of him, and just talking about him is sure to bring about more tears.

As I lay in my bed yesterday, sobbing, Jacob came in my room and climbed in right beside me. He slid up against me and put his arm around me.
He held me and said, "Stop crying, Mommy. Be happy."
He really doesn't like it when I cry.
Me: "Mommy's sad right now, sweetie. It's OK to be sad sometimes."

Jacob: "But why are you sad?"

Me: "Do you remember Nana (Jacob's name for my Grandma) & Papa? That's Pop Pop's mommy and daddy."

Jacob: "Yes."

Me: "Well, Papa is very sick. He's in the hospital. And tomorrow or the next day, he's going to leave and go live with Jesus in Heaven. I'm sad because I'm going to miss him very, very much."

Jacob: "But why is him goin' there?"

Me: "Well, when people get really old, that's where they go."

Jacob: "Where is Jesus?"

Me: "He's up really high in the sky, remember? Up in Heaven."

Jacob: "But how is him gonna get up there with Jesus?"

Me: "An angel will take him."

Jacob: (with a small smile) "Oh. Cuz dem have wings."

Me: "That's right."

Jacob: (pondering a moment) "Do the wings hurt their back?"

Me: "I don't think so, buddy."

Jacob: "I don't want wings on my back."

Me: "I don't want wings either."

And he continues to snuggle up against me, lightly stroking my hair as he likes to do when he's falling asleep at bedtime. It was so comforting, that for a moment, I felt like our roles had been reversed.

Me: "Thank you for making Mommy feel a little better."

Jacob: "You're welcome."

Me: "I love you."

Jacob: "I love you too."

And once my little ray of sunshine was off and running to the playroom, I sunk back into my feelings of sadness.


My head knows that Papa lived a long, happy life. He would have turned 92 years old on July 11th.

My head knows he was feeling miserable, and had little quality of life. He used to thrive on his ability to walk and exercise well into his eighties, and was proud of himself for being in such good shape, both mentally and physically.
Recently, he was only able to walk short distances with a walker. And not easily.

My head also knows he was ready to go.

But I've always been the kind of person who tends to follow her heart. And all my heart knows is how much I'll miss him.
How strange it will be to mail pictures or a letter, and address it to just Grandma instead of Grandma and Papa.

How hard it will be to see Grandma without Papa.

How difficult it is to even think about not seeing him.

That I'll never hear his laugh. His jokes. Or the stories he loved to tell.

And while I'm grateful he was alive to meet and spend time with the boys, and feel honored that Alex was named after him (John Alexander), I hate that they won't know him better. And that they won't remember him except through pictures or stories I tell them.


Grandma and Papa dancing at my wedding in October 2002.


The men in our family on Mother's Day 2005.


Papa first met Jacob when he was 3 months & 1 week old.


When I was a little girl, my favorite stuffed animal was Curious George. Papa used to love to tell the story of when I was visiting, and he took me & George on a wagon ride throughout their neighborhood. As we neared the house, he said I was crying because I had unknowingly dropped Curious George along the way. And he would tell me that he turned the wagon right back around, and retraced our steps until we found George lying on the sidewalk. He said I was so happy to find him.
From time to time, Papa would ask if I still had that same Curious George. And, yes, I do. He got an even bigger kick out of the fact that Jacob also loved Curious George. Mine's the one a 20 month old Jacob is cradling in his left arm.












Papa met Alex when he was 6 weeks old (I had to do the math several times because Alex looks so huge).









I feel grateful for the visit I had with him two weeks ago. The visit where he was talkative, humorous, and loving, as always. And I'm happy to have that as my last memory of him.

His funeral is this Friday. Because of his time served in WWII, the military will honor him during the service.
Gosh, he would love that.

I love you, Papa, and you've always been my favorite grandparent. I'll miss you so much.

J-A-C-O-B

Tomorrow we're headed to the beach for a whole week. I am not even close to being finished with all of the shopping, laundry, and packing that needs to get done before we leave, so instead of working on it right now, I'm blogging.

Have we not learned by now that I am a procrastinator?

Mentally, on the other hand, I am beyond prepared for this trip. I love everything about the beach. Except maybe the crabs. Jacob was fascinated by them during our beach trip last fall, and enjoyed watching them from a (safe) distance. But yesterday, he asked me if the crabs were going to eat him.

I told him I've never heard of that happening, but that there's a first time for everything. And you should always be wary of anything resembling a giant warrior spider.


Since I'm running out of time to procrastinate, this is just a quickie post. After our trip, I'm sure there will be a longer one with plenty of pictures. For now, I just had to share what my big boy did today.

We've been working with Jacob on his ability to recognize and write letters. He has been doing wonderfully. He walks around, singing the spelling of his name: J-A-C-O-B! It's a pretty catchy tune.
A few months back, he typed his name on the computer with no help from me or Jeff, which was exciting for all of us since it showed he not only knew how to recite the spelling of his name, he could also recognize the letters in them.
But even more exciting was when he began trying to write his name. His signature used to resemble an abstract piece of art with squiggles and lines, and hints of a letter if you looked closely...maybe. A little something kind of like this:



"Look, it's my name! I wrote Jacob!"

Mm-hmm...I think I can see the bottom part of a J in there. It sure is colorful, though!

His signature has been getting better & better, though careful inspection was still required. Today, though, he outdid himself. We stopped by Jeff's office after Speech Therapy this morning, and he decided he wanted to write his name.
Maybe having an audience inspired him because it was his best by far.


His latest masterpiece is currently hanging on our fridge, of course.
I am ridiculously proud of him.

Jacob's Thoughts

I remember when Jacob was a baby, an expression on his face would make me wonder what he could possibly be thinking about. Sometimes he would stare into space, or into my eyes, looking like he was analyzing his feelings or pondering life's deepest questions.







I used to wish I could get in his head and read his mind.

Well, I don't have to wonder anymore. I'm pretty sure he says aloud everything he thinks. So far, nothing too mortifying has been said in public, other than the time at Target, we saw people with bandannas on their heads, and he asked loudly if they were pirates. Or the time at a drive-thru, when he asked me while the window was down if the cashier had a baby in her belly. And no, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a baby. A food baby, maybe.

I'm glad I no longer have to be curious about what he's thinking. And in spite of the occasional moment I might prefer he keep his thoughts to himself, I'm enjoying hearing what's going on in that head of his. Here are a few recent examples of Jacob's thoughts and reasoning.


Sometimes, Jacob acts as a teacher, and takes it upon himself to explain to me & Jeff how things are made. For example, he'll ask, "Know how plants grow?" or "Know how to make ice cream?" Sometimes he's very accurate. But he's bound to make a mistake every now and then.
Like the time he asked us, "Know where milk comes from?"
Me & Jeff: "Where?"
Jacob: "From a cow's penis."

No one can be right all the time.

As we were eating chicken wings for dinner the other night, Jacob was carefully examining the bones. He was fascinated, and at the same time, being very cautious not to eat them. He warned us to do the same.
Jacob: "Know how dis chicken is made?"
Me: "How?"
Jacob: "They get bones from people and put dem in the chicken."

And then, after another careful examination, and a moment of deep thought, he adds, "Wait...dat's not right."
He'll have to think this one through and get back to us.



Jeff and I want to raise confident kids. And so far, I think we're on the right track. When I don't tell him first, Jacob will sometimes say things like, "I did a great job with that", or, "I have good manners." And I'm always quick to agree with him.
A couple of days ago, he was performing a magic show for me with his yo-yo. After my applause and praising of his yo-yo tricks (which consisted of holding the yo-yo by its string and swinging it back & forth), he tells me:
"I'm great at things. Like...doin' magic tricks, playin' with Optimus Prime, stopping tornadoes, and fightin' bad guys."

And how does he fight bad guys? He shared his plan with me & Jeff last night. If he ever encounters a real one, this is what the unlucky bad guy has in store for him:
"If I see a bad guy, I will make them smell my feet, and they will think they are so stinky. And then I will pee on them!"

And if he's wearing his Protector of the House uniform at the time he must conquer a bad guy, well, then they'd just better run away immediately.




I remember driving with the boys last summer, and a bird dropped a little surprise on the windshield. When Jacob saw the white bird poop, he explained that it must have come from a white bird.
So, if white birds make white poop, then it stands to reason that:
"When you eat brown things, you poop."

I think that one might be my favorite.


I wonder if he comes up with these ideas on the spot, or if he thinks them through in advance. Maybe they come to him in dreams?



Sometimes he has plenty of opportunity to think while on the potty.



I just love the way this kid thinks.

Instant Pick-Me-Ups

As I was playfully chasing Jacob around the house this afternoon, I managed to slip on the corner of a rug and fall (just call me Grace). In doing so, I also managed to hurt my wrist and my toe. I sat on the floor, holding my wrist, and wincing in pain.

Both boys came over to me. And both looked concerned.

Jacob asked in a worried, upset voice, "Are you gonna cry?" (he hates when I cry.)

Then Alex put his arm around my neck, and pressed his cheek to mine.

Jacob approached me from the other side, and sat on my lap. He gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Don't cry," he said. "We love you."

And then I saw Alex's kissy face leaning in close to me, and I got a kiss right on the lips.

How could I not feel better after that?




Two nights ago, I wasn't in the cheeriest of moods. (I blame fatigue and hormones.) I found my mood slowly improving while reading "Mommy Hugs" to Jacob at bedtime. It's really a sweet book, describing and illustrating the ways different mother animals give hugs to their babies. So after hugging Jacob several pages' worth of ways, from nuzzles, to pats, to tickles, to nibbles, and squeezes, we came to the last page that reads, "My mommy hugs me with a snuggle, like this." And every time we get to that point in the book, Jacob jumps up on my lap, throws his arms around me, and hugs me tight. It's definitely the best hug in the book. Not to mention, one of the best hugs in the world.
As I closed the book and got ready to put it away, I looked up at Jacob to find him looking at me. Completely out of the blue, and for the first time ever, he said:
"I wanna marry you, Mommy."

How can any mommy not cheer up after hearing that from her preschooler?
I smile every time I think about it. And I don't think I'll ever forget it.

I love these boys.