Another Post of Cute Jacob Quotes

The other day, the boys & I were driving when this awful smell just hit me.
"Jacob, did you poop?"
Jacob: "No. I not poop."
Me: "Did you poot?"
Jacob: (sniffs the air) "Nope. Dat not me. Dat somebody else."
Me: "Who do you think made that smell?
Jacob: "I don't know."
Me: "Did Alex?"
Jacob: "No, not Alex."
Me: "Mommy?"
Jacob: "No, not mommy."
Me: "Hmm, maybe an animal outside pooted?" (As you can see, we have very intellectual discussions sometimes.)
Jacob: "Yea. A shark do dat."
Watch out. There are lots of pooting sharks on the highways these days.

A few days ago, Hailey vomited right smack in the middle of the carpeted family room. (On a side note, that's the 2nd time I've had to clean up her vomit on our new carpets!)
For some reason, the spray bottle of cleaner is enticing to both boys. Luckily, I was able to find something equally interesting to Alex, so his attention was diverted. But I could see Jacob eyeing the spray bottle, glancing at me as he inched towards it.
"You can't use this, Jacob. Please go sit over there and watch Mommy clean."
Jacob: "Please?"
Me: "No, honey. It can make you sick. Mommy needs to use it to clean Hailey's throw up."
Jacob: "I a mommy sometimes. I do it. OK?"
Me: (laughing) "You aren't a mommy sometimes."
Jacob: "Yes I is."
Me: "No, you're a big boy. Mommies are girls. You can clean this up when you're a daddy."
Jacob: (a pause as he considers this negotiation) "OK." (Hopefully this won't encourage early fatherhood.)
Jacob: "I know!" This is his latest expression when he has a "good" idea. If he were a cartoon, you'd see the light bulb turning on over his head.
He picks up an orange Lego and shows it to me. "You play with THIS & I'LL play with that!" and points to the spray.
What a deal. If he were older, and actually knew how to clean up dog vomit, I probably would have taken him up on it.

A few days ago, we went to Target (our favorite store). Jacob was helping me push the cart and Alex was riding in it. Jacob was saying hi to every child we saw. He even tried to strike up a conversation with some of them. In the shoe aisle, we were chatting with another mom & her 3 boys (her youngest was also an Alex). Jacob complimented their shoes & Lightning McQueen clothing.
"I have blue shoes. You like my blue shoes?"
Then he just darted off, sprinting away from us.
Me: "Jacob Carl, you get back here right now! If you don't stay beside me & the cart, then you have to ride IN the cart!"
So he came running back, cup in hand, and casually told the other mom, "I got in trouble. And I have juice!"

Jacob likes to ride his tricycle in the house. He pedals through the breakfast nook and around the corner through the kitchen in one big circle. It's like a little race track. While Jacob rides his bike, Alex runs after him with a push toy. It's quite cute.
Yesterday, I was inadvertently standing in Jacob's way while looking for dinner ideas in the pantry. From behind the pantry door I hear, "Lauren? Excuse me." I moved aside, and as he pedaled past me, he said, "Thank you."
Yes, it was my 3 year old son addressing me so formally & politely. :)

Up in the boys' play room, Jacob was strumming wildly on his toy guitar. It was a big rock out session, complete with dancing and loud singing. I thought he was just yelling nonsense words until I overheard the following lyrics being yelled over & over as he jammed on the guitar: "I love my mommy! I love my mommy! I love my mommy! I love my mommy like dis!" And he ran over & kissed my arm. Then went back to performing his hard core rock song.

The other day, Jacob was standing in the kitchen, wrapping himself up mummy style in one of those straps you use to tie things down in the back of a truck. He knows I don't like it when he does that, so when he saw me notice him, he quickly began unwrapping himself.
"Jacob, you can play with that, but if you wrap it around yourself again, I'm taking it from you."
Jacob: "It's okay, Mommy. No worry."
Me: "OK, but if you do it again, I am going to take it, OK?"
Jacob: He points to the family room, gently nudging me out of the room. "You go in dere. No worry in dere."
I guess if I can't SEE him wrapping himself up, then I can't worry about him. :)

Yesterday morning I burned my tongue on hot coffee. I forgot I had just refreshed it, and it was no longer the lukewarm coffee I'd been gulping down a few moments before.
"Ouch!"
Jacob: "What, mommy? Why you say 'ouch'?"
Me: "My coffee was so hot and it burned me."
Jacob: "Oh." He sips his milk & says, "My coffee's nice."

As I was nursing Alex the other evening, Jacob picked up his baby Cabbage Patch doll. He said, "I give my baby boobie just like you." Then he sat in the chair next to mine, lifted up his shirt, and cradled the baby against his chest. He looked at me, held his finger to his lips, and said, "Shh. Baby sleeping." His baby fell asleep much quicker than the one I was nursing, so he laid him to bed right on the coffee table. "G'night, baby. Don't let those bed bugs bite."

I love my conversations with Jacob.