Dear Abby

Dear Abby:

Hi- my name is Alex. I'm writing to ask for advice about a woman. This particular woman is named Lauren, and from this point forward, will be known as "Mommy".

Here's my problem...I think Mommy is having a difficult time realizing how independent I've become. She's always wanting to help with things that frankly, I really don't need help with. I'll be TWO years old next month, for crying out loud.

I'll preface my grievance by admitting there are lots of things she allows me to do independently. And granted, there are also the occasional tasks I appreciate her assistance with. For instance, preparing meals, reaching the food that's up high (I've got a handle on the food in the lower cabinets, and pull it out quite frequently), and driving. If I'm being honest, I feel quite certain I could handle all of the aforementioned tasks on my own if she didn't have the height advantage.
And until I learn to use that white bowl that everyone else in the house does, I'm also glad she changes my diaper. For now, I'm content to let her handle all of these things. I'll put them on the back burner, and address them with her when I'm three.

Having said all of that, however, there are a few tasks I feel I do not need help with:

1) crossing the road or parking lot- I find that I simply cannot win on this one. She always pulls out the infamous multiple choice trickery: "Do you want to hold my hand or should I carry you?" Uh, where is option C? I can do it on my own!

2) brushing my teeth- I feel we've reached a minor compromise on this one. After my teeth are brushed by a "responsible adult", then I get a turn.

3) eating messy meals like spaghetti, soup, cereal, or yogurt- Darn it, on this one, I just can't get her to quit offering to help me. It's insulting, really. I've attached photographic evidence to support my claim.


Eating delicious apple yogurt on my own.


Ensuring that I've eaten every last drop so I'm not wasteful. A mature and responsible thing to do, I think.


All done!


And it was delicious...


OK, so I got a little bit on my fingers. But who doesn't when they eat yogurt?


I give you a very clear picture of...SUCCESS!



I feel I've made my point. Clearly I do not need any assistance. She even wanted to wipe me down with a wet paper towel afterwards. Do you see what I'm dealing with here?

I'm not sure how I can be any clearer. Right now, my main tactic is resistance paired with impatient, aggravated shrieking until I learn to yell, "I do it myself!"
Any advice you can give me would be most appreciated.

Sincerely,

A Mature Little Boy Who's Being Treated Like an Almost Two Year Old