Say What?

From the mind and mouth of a soon to be 5-year old...


Jacob: "Mommy? Why did God make alligators? I really don't want them on this planet because they bite."

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The other day, I noticed Jacob was taking quite a long time in the bathroom. The toilet had already been flushed, and I heard no water running to indicate one of his marathon hand washing sessions.

Me: "Jacob, what are you doing in there?"

Jacob: "I'm practicin' my smiles in the mirror."

Me: (pause to let this response sink in. And of course I had to walk in the bathroom to witness this.) "Why??"

Jacob: "To see which one is my favorite."

He smiles at himself, then turns to me and says,

"I think this one's the cutest." And grins.

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Jacob: "I love you, Mommy."

Me: "I love you too, bud."

Jacob: "And Jesus loves me?"

Me: "Yes, He does."

Jacob: "When is he gonna come see us?"

Me: "Hmm, I don't know."

Jacob: "Well, does He have our phone number?"

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This evening, Jacob approached me with a Magna-Doodle, holding the pen on the board, poised to write. I had unknowingly entered his restaurant.

Jacob: "And what would you like?"

Me: "Mmm, I think I would like there to be no more whining from little boys ever again."

And without a moment of hesitation, he responds,

"Nope, sorry. We only serve food here."