Thanks for the new vocabulary word, big brother

It's amazing what a little boy can learn from his big brother.

Attempting to keep up with a 4-1/2 year old keeps a 2-1/2 year old on his toes. Not to mention, playing with older cousins as well. I think being surrounded by older playmates is part of the reason Alex speaks so well (and so much) and is more understanding of taking turns, reasoning, and sharing than the average kid his age (not that we don't have our moments, of course).

Having a 4-1/2 year old who works part-time as Alex's teacher sure has its perks. For instance, just at this moment, a hand washing lesson is taking place in the bathroom. I heard Jacob explain to Alex, "If you leave the water on too long, you're wasting water, bud."

Another example is potty training, a daunting task that with Jacob, I began dreading immediately following his birth. Same thing with Alex. But Alex has been asking to pee on the potty. Know why? Because he wants to "pee on the potty like Bo." It's a work in progress, but the fact that we're even making any progress at this age impresses me.

Thanks to his big brother, he also has a rich knowledge and appreciation for the Marvel superheroes. In particular, Spiderman, Wolverine, Iron Man, Silver Surfer, The Thing, and Incredible Hulk. I think superhero knowledge is a prerequisite to being a little boy. And naturally, I had to buy him Marvel underwear. He's already peed all over Wolverine and Iron Man, but he sure was excited about them while they were dry.

In fact, Jacob has taught him many things: how to play action figures, the art of making silly faces, how to wrestle, make a mess with Play-Doh, an appreciation for music, singing, and performing, how to create a bubble bath beard, and the many ways to use the word "fancy" in a sentence ("I don't want to play with this...it's too fancy."). He's a terrific big brother.
Jacob is Alex's best friend and favorite person to play with. He soaks up his every word.

Which is why sometimes, a 4-1/2 year old teacher does not come in handy.

I'm all about expanding Alex's vocabulary, but there are some words I'm OK with him not knowing right now. Really OK with it.

Let me preface this by saying that I've taught Jacob the appropriate words for private parts. We don't refer to his penis as a "wee wee", a "pee pee" (that's what you do IN the potty), a "wiener", or anything other than what it is: a penis.
About a month or so ago, Jacob saw a picture of a female celebrity (Lady Gaga) in a skimpy bikini bottom (He wasn't looking at anything inappropriate...the picture was just in People magazine). I heard him giggling.

Me: "What's so funny?"

Jacob: (whispers) "I can see her penis." (Which, if you believe the rumors about Lady Gaga that were circulating a while back, just might be true.)

Me: "No, you don't."

Jacob: "Yes, right there!"

Me: "Girls don't have penises, honey. Only boys and daddies."

Jacob: "Oh. What do girls have?"

Me: "Girls have a vagina."

Jacob: (giggles at the mere mention of the word. I guess it is innate.) "A 'gina??"

Me: "Vagina."

Jacob: "Agina."

Me: (close enough) "Right."


So, let's fast forward to last week.

As Alex was peeing on the potty, Jacob and I sat on the bathroom floor and watched him. He likes the audience most of the time (although he has been known to say, "I need privacy", which is adorable, and sounds more like, "I need pie-see." But, I digress.)

After we cheered for Alex, I told him, "Mommy has to pee pee now."

So it was my turn to pee in front of an audience (I'm used to it- I don't even close the bathroom door anymore). Then I heard the giggles.

Jacob: "You're peeing out of your AGINA??!" He couldn't even wipe the grin off his face. And since I was having difficulty stifling a smile and immature giggle of my own, I can understand why.

Alex had no comments at this time. However, about 10 minutes later, completely out of context and the bathroom moment already a distant memory in my mind, he pipes up (loudly) with, "Agina! Agina!"

My head whirled around to look at him. My sweet 2-1/2 year old with the big, proud grin shouting about vaginas.

And of course, Jacob was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.

Realizing he had an interested and attentive audience, Alex jumped off the couch, and began running in circles around the room, repeating, "Agina! Agina! Agina!" over and over.

Jacob was in hysterics.

He even used his new vocabulary word in a sentence. Another lesson taught to him by his big brother.

Jacob: "Alex, you're a 'gina!"

Alex: "I not a 'gina! I Alex!"

He runs in another circle, comes back to Jacob, and tells him, "Bo a 'gina! Daddy a 'gina!"

Leaving Jacob behind to continue his non-stop laughter, Alex runs over to me and says, "Mommy a 'gina!"

It was hard to be insulted. And it was even harder not to laugh.

Finally, after explaining that 'vagina' is a private word, and that we needed to stop saying it now, things settled down.

Fast forward again to an hour later. Jeff had just gotten home from work, and was standing at the counter looking through the mail. The boys were at the table eating dinner. The only sounds in the room were the scraping of forks across plates, chewing, Jeff rifling through papers, and me pouring drinks.

The only sounds, that is, until...

Alex: "Agina!"

Jeff: "What did he say??"

Me: "Exactly what you think he said. You can thank Jacob for that one."

Jacob grinned, and proudly took another bite of his dinner.

And luckily, Jeff's back was to the table because he was unsuccessful at holding back a laugh.

Thank goodness these boys have two mature parents.

When I was 10 years old, my mom sat me down in the living room, closed the door, and pulled out a hardcover book with a title along the lines of "Teaching Your Child About Sex". I soaked in the details of what she explained, sometimes interested, sometimes horrified. I walked out of the room a little while later, and immediately went upstairs to pass along the details of The Sex Talk with my 6-year old sister.

I can only imagine what else will be in Jacob's lesson plans over the years.